how to work with the marvelous & menacing Inner Other
Today I'm contemplating the wonders of the Tarot trump traditionally associated with June's Gemini season: the Lovers.
The Lovers in the Thoth Deck by Aleister Crowley and Lady Frieda Harris
The image, depicting a black queen marrying a pale king, with "reverse color" children and animals within...
.... evokes a reminder of the mirror-like quality of consciousness: how everywhere, we see dimensions of ourselves "in reverse."
Have you ever fallen into a wild infatuation with someone only to wake up out of it months later, being like "whoah what the heck was that all about?"
This kind of infatuation happens when we unwittingly project all of our unconscious positive potentials and qualities onto another person, and fall in love with those potentials as they appear to be "out there."
Usually, the person we get infatuated with does indeed have some of these wonderful qualities, which is exactly what allows them to serve as "hooks" for our own projections.
But in this kind of love, we're not adoring the person as they actually are, with all their human wholeness and foibles - instead we're seeing a kind of mystical magical divine vision of our own souls on them, accidentally projected onto them as if onto a movie screen.
Eventually, the incredible glamor of this infatuation wears off - and then we either transition into a more humble intimacy and affection with the person, or the relationship dissolves.
As painful as this process of infatuated glamor / disillusionment can be, it offers a gateway to a tremendous experience: the recognition of the Inner Other.
What's the Inner Other?
It's a personification of our unconscious who appears in dreams, in our projections on others, and as "possessions" of moods and repetitive, often critical thoughts....
The Inner Other serves as an inner guide, teacher, tormentor, and lover ... and in order to realize our own full wholeness and stop getting "possessed" with awful moods and critical "should" thoughts, we need to come into deliberate relation with them.
The tricky, tricksy thing about the Inner Other is that they have a will and an existence that's autonomous from that of our egos.
What does that mean, autonomous?
It means they're within our psyche, yet they have an independent existence - plans and desires and ideas that go very contrary to the ones we ordinarily identify with...
... so we need to practice relating with them as an individual person, and learning what they have to teach us.
Here's a simple way to begin your relationship with your Inner Other:
Work on remembering and writing down your night-time dreams. Notice what figures appear who seem especially marvelous or especially menacing.
These figures represent faces of your Inner Other.
Ask yourself: what secret truths are they trying to show you in these dreams that you ordinarily, in waking life, resist knowing?
What qualities do they embody that you've been rejecting, and how can you begin to embrace those qualities?
best,
Carolyn Elliott
author of Existential Kink: unmask your shadow and embrace your power
P.S. I'm an absent-minded professor - apologies - we had previously said we were closing WEALTH applications on May 28, but I somehow got it into my head it was May 29th... so tonight, May 29th, will be the actual closing. :)
P.P.S. In June in WEALTH we'll be working on our relationship with the Inner Other, in celebration of Gemini / the Lovers, through live mentorship workshops, shared practices, Study Seminar readings, and coaching practicum sessions.
You can click here to learn much more about WEALTH and apply.
Application for WEALTH ends tonight at midnight, and I'm not sure when I'll be opening it again...
.... so if you'd like to join other amazing leaders around the world for an alchemical adventure and tight-knit community, now is your chance.
