"how can YOU claim that title? are YOU a consecrated Priestess? " /// the Babalon Certification Agency

Hello there,

Recently, in response to an Instagram reel of me dancing around to Chet Faker's cover of "No Diggity," and talking about the glories of self-promotional whoring oneself on the interwebs as per my THRILL course, someone said:

"What actual experience do you have as a whore? What actual experience do you have as the whore of Babylon? Do you have any ritual experience at all to claim that title? Are you a consecrated Priestess? What is your lineage? Your video has me very curious about your actual credentials for all the titles and experiences you're claiming."

Putting aside the fact that I've never claimed any titles...

I replied:

My Dear Madame, with much humble love  and gratitude for the tender curiosity and hot longing to fully embody your own power that is tucked so very sweetly behind your brittle, rude demand to see my papers…

….I ask you: is there a Whore of Babalon Certifying Agency somewhere?

Perhaps an institution (run by respectable, trustworthy, “consecrated”) people that ordains and verifies exactly who is wicked enough to be permitted to make sexxxxy reels to “No Diggity” and enact heretical invocations?

Are you concerned I haven’t the right pedigree to be pimping my Gnosis for dirty monies all up on the inter webs?

Are you worried that naive budding young witch sluts on Instagram might be lured by my ersatz Thelemic Milkshake away from a rigorous, authentic, righteous path of “sacred” lineage whore priestess training…

The marvelous Kelis, whose Milkshake Brought Many Boys to the Yard, yet alas, without Proper Certification

… and into my degenerate, self-authorizing, cash-laden ways?

Would you really feel better about me and my nefarious doings if I presented a list of my adeptships and the times I’ve had sex for money or favors?

You want to know my A.:.A degree? The names of my teachers? Of my patrons? Their home phone numbers so you can verify my story?

The address of the rundown storefront Rosicrucian temple in a dead-eyed steel town where I first got dedicated as a vestal virgin to Thoth?

Video footage of me bare breasted, in cowboy boots, with a fur jacket, leading ritual surrounded by hundreds of people in glittering masquerade make-up with torches, dancing illegally in an overgrown park overlooking the city on Summer Solstice?

Full color photo spreads of me mixing the Wine of Her Fornications into a Graal next to a Priest of the Great Beast in hidden ball rooms?

Livestreams of me orgasming in a sea  of five hundred other women also orgasming in the red velvet plush of a Grand Masonic Hall?

Audio recordings of me doing the Headless Rite, replete with eerie inexplicable whispering of Spirit?

Or maybe what would be more satisfying would be a detailed chronicle of my dreams and visionary conversations with Crowley and Dee, presented with a scholarly forward written by a widely-trusted authority on Magickal Whoring?

Now that we’re talking about it, I think you might just want to read my memoirs, which does indeed sound absorbing! I agree. Maybe I’ll sit and write them soon.

Madame, I know I’ve just been sarcastic with you…

… and it comes from my playful heart’s desire for you to truly GET that your holy priestess whoredom and mine and everyone’s…

…. is a matter of spontaneous, self-appointed owning of inner authority and not a matter of proving jack sh*t to anyone.

The profane is sacred. The sacred is the profane. They’re utterly inseparable:

the jewel  is in the lotus, the lotus is in the jewel, the Rose  is on the Cross, the Cross is on the Rose…

… om mani padme hum, gate gate paragate, parasamgate bodhi svaha, Doo Wa Diddyy Diddy Dum Diddy Doo….

…. and much love to your Mother, that’s the whole BLOODY POINT of Magick and life and Babalon.

… I detect in your questions a fear that you can’t fully step into your own authority without the proper credentials, or that maybe some credentials you already have are the source of your strength.

I would challenge that. Your heart’s gnosis is the source of your strength. It’s yours when you claim it boldly, as mine is mine.

Cheers 🥂 to your epic works of highly suspect and disreputable witchcraft, and to mine.

In Nomine Babalon,

Carolyn Elliott

P.S. If you'd like support and guidance on fully embodying your own magickal authority on the interwebs for the purpose of money and adulation, my excellent course THRILL is open just until tomorrow night.

Seriously though - come join THRILL, you know you want to and you won't regret it ;)