The Wildly Inappropriate Solution to Self-doubt
I remember how when I first started out online in 2012 - as a "creativity coach" - I used to get scolding messages from people who disapproved of my use of the f-word.
(Fuck, if I can't swear online where can I swear? It's a fine Anglo-Saxon emphatic that I would hate to dispose of!)
Those kind of "shut up, you're saying it wrong" messages really, really used to get under my skin back then.
Just one disapproving note from a self-elected member of the Polite Language Police could send me into a quaking spiral of doubting my whole right to work, to coach, to teach, to exist.
(Of course, later on, Notes from self-elected members of the You're Not a Serious Enough Magician Police were even worse.)
Sometimes I felt like I was drowning in disapproval from people who found me inappropriate.
Maybe that sounds a bit extreme, but it's true - the choppy waters of self-doubt were so familiar to me that I could barely begin to imagine life outside them.
But now it makes perfect sense why all the magical people I know spend so much time there in self-doubt - it's a kind of defense mechanism...
.... like maybe if we just doubt and diss ourselves hard enough we can anticipate all possible criticisms and protect ourselves entirely from having to endure them.
The thing is though - when expanding as a leader in the world - it's a lot easier to just make the agreement within yourself that you are truly willing to have tons of people dislike you, and to have even more people take offense at what you say and how you say it, and slander you.
Because they're going to anyway.
No amount of pre-doubting and pre-criticizing oneself can stop the tide of disapproval that rises up whenever a witch pokes their head out of their hiding place - either in their own local community or in online business.
I mean, it's only been a few hundred years since we were literally burned in town squares.
A lot of the world is still very uncomfortable with the presence of a witch.
The good news is, if you persist in being your own imperfect self out loud, a substantial proportion of people will totally love it and want more.
So bottomline, the wildly inappropriate solution to self-doubt that I'm proposing here is this:
Just decide to "do it wrong." Whatever it is you're doing - growing a business, throwing a big event, putting out an album, making a family -- do it wrong.
Way wrong.
Forget totally about "doing it right" or doing it in any way that anyone will approve of. Forget about doing it the "safe, approved" way. Do it the strange, bizarre, unknown, freaky way.
Do it the way *you* approve of. Do it the way that feels fun and hot.
That's how you surprise yourself and grow exponentially.
best,
Carolyn Elliott
author of Existential Kink: unmask your shadow and embrace your power
P.S.
The genius coach and stylist Helena Grant (she just earned Existential Kink Coach Certification via my Sovereigns Existential Kink Coach training program, which will open again for registration in 2021)...
... recently interviewed me for her star-studded summit, Golden Threads: weaving ancient wisdom into modern bliss.
We talked about Existential Kink, and the emergence of a New Aeon on Earth where the previously-unconscious becomes conscious.
You can click here to sign up for Golden Threads and get free access to my interview with Helena, plus many more fascinating and important conversations.
Expect insights from this summit that will inspire you to:
Access the intelligence that speaks through your dreams
Sink inward to work somatically with the electricity of the body
Explore the myths of your lineage
Know what’s possible even if you can’t see it yet
Make your “someday dreams” into your right now reality
